Chrono Cross Part #10 - Episode VIII: Dolls Are Creepy

Part 10: Episode VIII: Dolls Are Creepy

Right, then. We now finally have a full party. Yes, despite having a cast of nearly four dozen playable characters...there are only three slots in a party... That is a wee bit of a negative to having such a huge selection... Especially when Serge is a permanent party member and all.

Before Serge and Leena head off toward Termina, let's check out what else has change in Arni Village. What? Did you think Serge being a shitty swimmer was the only change the world had? It's not like the guy is George Bailey. He was a lazy beach bum that was dating the girl next door and mooching off his mother.

Without Leena dragging about a whipped boyfriend to make Komodo Pup kiling popular with the local kids, a far more peaceful rainbow shell necklace is all the rage. Granted, the rainbow shell was a legendary piece of material in an ancient cave guarded by a fucking T-Rex last I checked... Maybe that isn't such an improvement...

The shop in the middle of town has a Rainbow Shell shard Serge can attempt to nick.

Unfortunately, it is not for sale and the merchant will just bitch out any further attempts to take it. Sorry kid... Looks like you're going to have to go fight dinosaurs if you want to impress your lady friend.

Battle tutorials are no longer offered in exchange for letting an old man punch you in the dick as a payment. Mostly because Radius is no longer the chief of Arni.

Instead, some jerk named Gonji is the chief. Well, I don't know if he's a jerk. The maid in his house bitches about him not liking her cooking but for all I know she's on par with a cafeteria. But, the point is nobody has even heard of the old tutorial guy in Another World.

Save points are still a creepy pyramids that are semi-mind controlling gullible people. There's still a line that never moves while people update their fantasy MySpace pages.

Leena's grandmother still rambles how Serge was a total wuss around cats despite being dead for a decade. There must not be much action in Arni. It seems Serge was attacked by the crazy demonic cat monster in both dimensions at around the same time he drowned. That's some might fine parental negligence. Were Serge's parents the same ones from Rugrats?

"Me have embarked on a rong journey. Pleathe do not come rooking for I."

So whichever world's Poshul is not recruited goes and ventures out into the world to do...something or other...and is never heard from again. Seeing as Poshul is a singularity of dopiness it is likely the universe would tear itself apart if two were to come into contact at any point.

Across the street, the fisherman with a monstrous shark beast from the dark depths of the ocean sitting in his basement has given up fishing due to Serge and his family dying some years ago. He has since turned to devil worshiping and neglecting his family. Maybe we should check up on that... I mean, how bad can it...

Music: Island of the Dead

...be...? Oh boy... This is going to get weird, isn't it?

PROTIP: Strip Poshul of all her elements and equipment at this point. Trust me.

Uhh...I played Chrono Trigger last month. The entire planet is about the size of Rhode Island and I don't exactly recall anything remotely what one would identify as "the far east". I think, friend, you may have been scammed.

"Our spent yesterdays, and an uncertain tomorrow... How we live a meaningless today... This holy item, filled with the prayers of people today, protects us and supports us!"

"It's just a friggin' scarecrow..."
"A scarecrow with lit candles attached to its head. That has to be a fire code violation."
<drools>

"Gonna take a rain check on that one, chief. I'm already dead in this dimension. I'm not going to push my luck with the whole worshiping idols thing."

After the fellow stops ranting and raving about this Mojo thing nailed to his wall, Serge can hand over the necklace his Home World self lent to him to see...I don't know...if we can fuck with his little peasant belief system.

"Tell me, who's the one that caught it?"

"Would you believe another you in another dimension where you are a successful fisherman and not a raving lunatic that's cumming on straw dolls in his basement?"

The pagan fellow freaks out and rejects the notion of a bizarro version of himself who isn't praying to the dark gods of Hyrule and tells the party to piss off.

Oh well, we tr-

Err... Beg your pardon? "Boogum"?

"Love is always in the air! It's just that no one notices."

Good job, dumbass. You've summoned an unholy abomination to this realm. That's just terrific.

"Th-Th-This can't be happening...! How in the...?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"

"Errrrrr..... Leena, help me out here...?"
"Maybe that theory about the crazy pills you had back when we first talked has some weight to it..."

"W-Wait a second...!"

"Just a word of advice. Stop-om running and come face to face with yoour life."

"Ergh..."

"Me-om want stroong soul for harvesting. Oh-ho!"
"Ergh..."

<dances> "I'm lucky, I'm lucky, I'm lucky! Uh-huh-uh-huh!"

"Let's see...a talking scarecrow pagan idol or...Poshul... Hmm..."

And so our party size swells to four.

Mojo's Japanese name is "Lucky Dan". I frankly think that is a much more fitting name than Mojo. I mean, if you're going to be silly you might as well go all the way. Unfortunately, Chrono Cross has the exceedingly restrictive six character name limit space. So, we'll need to make a compromise.

Lucky D. is now part of the team. He brings with him a wondrous new ability. Namely:

Ditching Poshul now and forever.

This is why I said it was a good idea to get rid of Poshul's Elements. In the early stages of Chrono Cross characters can only be swapped out via new recruits. A bit later in the game they can be switched at save points and the world map. But, there's no way to mess with equipment of non-active party members and they don't auto-unequip. Which would mean Poshul would bugger off with a third of the Elements the team has and we cannot have that.

There actually is a way to unequip elements via poorly explained (as in not explained at all of course) menus fuckery. The point is, fuck Poshul.

Concluding our tour of Another Arni Village, Belcha's restaurant is now being run by his wife and has been converted into a fruity café. Apparently they got divorced and he ran off to improve his culinary talents and maybe start up a few reality shows over in Medina.